Warning: This story contains graphic language and scenarios that may be harmful to sensitive readers.

As a French-Canadian girl growing up in British Columbia, my dream come true was living in the land of palm trees—California. That dream became real, and so did my purpose. Today, I’m on a mission to empower children around the world to believe in themselves through the power of I AM WHO I SAY I AM™.

How did I get here?
It started with believing it was possible.

Overcoming Adversity: The Origin of I AM WHO I SAY I AM

The genesis of I AM WHO I SAY I AM is the pathway of my life and career—recovering from alcoholism, bipolar disorder, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and domestic violence.
It is what carried me through it all.
And we all have our it.

Surviving Mental Illness When No One Believes You

At various times, I tried to communicate that my life was in danger. People didn’t seem to believe me. They didn’t want to believe me.

“Not you—you’re the most positive person I know.”

When I was in the eye of the storm, others saw me as calm and centered. My distress was on outward pause. Inside, I was shattered. Every piece of me was blown to bits.

I needed help, and for a few reasons, I wouldn’t tell anyone. The phrase that almost pushed me over the edge was:
“It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you respond.”

That felt like a kick in the teeth.

Homelessness and the Question That Broke Me

My obsession with I AM WHO I SAY I AM became a high-wire balancing act for financial stability. A series of life events—including being laid off from a career position and caring for my elderly parents—led to a year of homelessness.

Living out of my car, I slept in nine places: hotels, Airbnbs, as a roommate, and in a recovery halfway house with five men and no locks on any doors—bathroom or bedroom.

My circle of friends each said, “You have to let go of I AM WHO I SAY I AM.”
I learned to stop telling anyone I was still working on it.

Applying I AM WHO I SAY I AM to my life—and the grace of the God of my understanding—was carrying me through.

“Okay God, I Give Up”

Sitting in my car, not knowing where I would sleep on any given night, blasted the cap off my distress meter. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Okay, God. I give up.

I let go of it.
It would not let go of me.

At every turn, people asked, “What’s happening with your program?”

The Toughest Interview Question

Applying for jobs, the hardest interview question wasn’t about my skills or experience.

It was:
Where do you live?

— Mischa Martineau

Surviving Domestic Violence

The five words that blew me out the door forever:
“You don’t know dick, bitch.”

I tried to leave—I don’t know how many times. I do remember giving my landlord written notice to vacate four times. Each time, something fell through. One night, I drove to a motel. I needed windshield wipers over my eyeballs. In a blur, I pulled in.

My thoughts devoured my self-worth.

Humiliation at the Reception Desk

With abject humiliation, I slumped toward the reception desk—breathing staccato, ingesting my shame. A man and a woman were there. I didn’t want to see them clearly. I didn’t want them to see me at all.

Counting my money, I don’t know how little I was short—I only know it was little.
“Will you accept this?”

If they spoke, I didn’t hear words. I saw them look at each other, then at me—heads moving back and forth in slow motion. I was mortified. Petrified.

How could they not help me?

“Michie, It’s Over”

After the next altercation, I lay in a hospital bed with black eyes and a swollen lip. My friend Davey—like an angel—appeared at my bedside. His eyebrows peaked and fell as he leaned in.

“Michie, it’s over.”

My response:
“But I don’t want it to be.”

My tank of self-esteem had disintegrated. I was a shell of a human being.

Why This Work Matters

The I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ My Discovery Journal should be in every shelter in the country.

— Denise Brown

Neuroscience and Engineering My Belief System

Emigrating to the USA, my business career was seeded in real estate. At age 22, I became VP and Chair of PR and Communications for an association.

The Power of Self-Talk

In 1985, at a leadership event, Lou Tice, chairman and co-founder of The Pacific Institute, introduced me to the power of self-talk. Leveraging its power became the core of I AM WHO I SAY I AM™. My first application? Becoming a non-smoker again.

“Control your self-talk or your self-talk controls you.”
— Lou Tice

Connecting Neuroscience with Positive Change

My passion grew in connecting neuroscience with positive mental health outcomes and sustainable cultural transformation.

At the 2001 Global Project Directors Conference in Seattle, I was recognized for a bold HIV/AIDS initiative. My work included:

• Convening a ground-breaking leadership forum for HIV/AIDS
• Serving as a Subject Matter Expert for the Ghana Delegation

Founding Martineau Systems

I founded Martineau Systems as an independent affiliate and built out a proprietary system for:

• Empowering individuals and businesses to create and articulate their unique value propositions
• Aligning and integrating marketing, business, and belief systems

Early Career Bold Initiatives

• 1987: Pioneered the first car brokerage services for women, Car Finders, Inc.
• Developed a fee-based real estate model that protected consumers from dual agency and predatory lending

The Core of Success

The most powerful system for success is one’s belief system.

— Mischa Martineau

Authoring the I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ – My Discovery Journal

I started developing the I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ program in 2005—the year I became sober. The detox was brutal. I was going to hurl myself off my patio.

My partner, in recovery from alcoholism and a mental health professional, took me to a psychiatric hospital. When you admit you are thinking of harming yourself or others, that’s a one-way ticket to the “nut ward.” I was on board until the reality hit: I could not leave if I wanted to. When they break out the crayons in group therapy, the humiliation swirls in my body like a lava lamp.

Stability Through Tools and Support

I have enjoyed many years of stability, supported by medication compliance and mental health services.
I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ keeps me medication compliant. It has helped me take preventative steps and even call the suicide hotline—something I never wanted to do. I didn’t want to admit to anyone, even anonymously, what I was going through. Now, I have those tools.

That soul on the phone that night, and my psychiatrist Dr. Powell, helped save my life. Dr. Powell stayed in touch through the night via text. He was like a father to me. Ultimately, my Heavenly Father is my Savior.

Seventeen Years of Iteration

I’ve been working on the latest iteration of I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ for 17 years.

A close friend once said,

“You’ve been working on it for a long time. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Your mental illness is a disability. There are some things you just cannot do.”

Focusing on Capability, Not Disability

Now I know what it means to have a “bug in your ear.” It was like a creepy crawly creature attacking my belief system.

With the help of my support team, I left that relationship with parting words:
I choose to focus on my capability!

Disabilities? I choose to focus on my capabilities!

— Mischa Martineau

I AM WHO I SAY I AM™: Mental Technology for Self-Belief

I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ is the mental technology I use to believe in myself and live my purpose.

I’ve always pursued my passionate interests—the performing arts, business, and mental health—at the intersection of technology, neuroscience, and communications.

Mentoring Leaders and Driving High Performance

As a business consultant, I have mentored organizational leaders to increase high performance by implementing solutions at their root causes: individual and collective belief systems.

Conference events include:

• Senior Business Advisor, Executive Next Practices Institute inaugural Neuro Leadership Forum, UCI Applied Innovation, California
• Keynote Speaker, Women In Technology International, Orange County, California

Recognition in Mental Health

My recognition in the field of mental health includes:

• Guest on LA Talk Radio, hosted by Allen Cardoza and Dr. Matt Polacheck, Director Outpatient, Betty Ford Clinic, LA
• Guest Instructor for the graduating class, Master’s in Psychology, Chicago School of Psychology, Irvine, CA

Mental Health as the Core of Happiness

Regardless of circumstance, mental health is my happiness.

— Mischa Martineau

Living a Purposeful Life, Transforming Lives

As the founder, president, program developer, and communications mentor for I AM WHO I SAY I AM.global, I strive toward our vision: a world where human rights are equal, and all people are valued and championed.

Leveraging Experience for Greater Impact

Drawing on my background in cultural transformation, technology, and mental health, I’m evolving the mental technology of I AM WHO I SAY I AM™ to empower others to:

• Overcome the effects of mental illness
• Elevate and realize their career aspirations
• Enjoy mental health and happiness

Belief in Yourself: The Missing Link

In the massive sea of training programs and inspirational podcasts, have you ever heard:

“You have to believe in yourself”

…and thought,

That sounds great, but how do I do that?

Who Will You Become?

When empowered to believe in yourself, who will you become?

Let’s find out!

— Mischa Martineau